DoubleD: Wish Upon an ED
by Mistress of Ice
Summary: Ten years of Double-D's life have been spent with bruises and insults. One night, the day before high school, he wishes for some changes in his life. But little does he realize that true change comes from within. Rated for language violence. EddXNazz
1. Chapter 1

**Double-D: Wish Upon an ED**

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Can't you see the moths flying out of my wallet?

Summary: For the last ten years of Double-D's life he has gone through some very difficult times. Late one night, the day before high school starts, he makes a wish on star for some big changes in his life. _Good_ changes. But little does he realize, that _true_ changes can only come from within.  
There will be NO slashing in this fiction! This as a rated Teen story for language and some violence.

A/N: This story will be cut in between Double-D's POV and the author's POV...  
When you see this: "" it's a cut between Double-D's POV and the author's.

**--**

**  
**

****

Chapter 1: Misery Loves ED

September 3rd, 2009 - 8:46 p.m.  
Peach Creek, New Jersey

**--**

_Once upon a time..._

This is how every story begins. At least, for happy stories anyway. For the last ten years of my life, I- Eddward Miriam Howard, have undergone some of the most troublesome, shameful, downright _humiliating_ hair-brained schemes; more times than I can _count_ they have all failed! Alas, the _only_ thing that _has_ been accomplished for myself is the meager and dreaded pariah status within this small suburbia; where there is no room for me to shed my loathsome title!

Sometimes, I wonder how is it I ever ended up in this predicament but its then that I remember that I only came to this hindering limitation in my life is because of Eddy. Edwin Skipper Narciso (1), the self-proclaimed leader of our group. Eddy, the greedy con-artist. Eddy, the tyrannical, cruel, slave-driving, megalomaniac has done nothing but cause me a great amount of grief. He would sooner choose money over his friends if the opportunity ever came up. The only consolation I have from this haphazard friendship is Ed.

Ed Horace Fitzgerald, with his non sequiturs (2). Ed, with his unfounded sense of humor and happiness. Ed, a dearer and true friend than Eddy will ever be. No matter his illogical sense of reality and bizarre tastes in food. Even if he was gullible enough to be manipulated into doing some embarrassing and extremely destructive things to everyone in Peach Creek and I. At least he makes it a _point_ to care about my feelings, listen to me, and actually _help_ me. He seemingly understands what it means to be an honest friend. If ever a trustworthy friend were to be found, it would be Ed.

* * *

Sighing softly beneath his breath, Double-D looked toward the heavens, perhaps looking for an answer among them. But the only thing he saw was a cold dusk sky staring at him. Offering absolutely no solace to the desolate boy that stared back into its infinite cosmos. Lowering his head glumly Double-D lay his sore and bruised body unto his bed. Yawning loudly, Double-D began to re-account all the days events and before he knew it he was out like a light.

_"Um, Eddy?" Double-D softly mumbled. "Are you sure about this?"  
"Sure I'm sure!" Eddy proclaimed arrogantly. "I mean, the park is the perfect place to hold 'Eddy's Gambling Slot Machines'!"  
__"If you say so Eddy."  
__"Of course I do! Now get to work Sock-head! Jeez, surrounded by a bunch of lazy asses..."_

_With that the 'conversation' ended and Eddy left for his house; leaving Double-D to do all the work. Watching Eddy's back as he walked away, Double-D began to feel even more insecure about this dilemma both he and his fellow comrades have entered by the second. Sighing at his lack own lack of devil-may-care attitude Double-D just decided to wait out the inevitable with his friends. After all, the children weren't even _remotely_ as stupid as Eddy would have liked to have believed. It bothered Double-D; the fact that Eddy thought he was _so_ much better than everyone else. Anybody with a _cerebellum_ could see that Eddy was just a foolish, run-of-the-mill, ne'er do well, fool! But, Double-D being Double-D, knew himself well enough to say that he was very cowardly and wouldn't even _think _to try and disband this group of ragtag social misfits. Who else would be willing to accept him? No one _he_ knew of, that was certain. Silently, in the back of his mind, Double-D couldn't help but hope that Eddy's plans for this new scam would actually work just this once._

_Shaking his head, as if to banish those depressing thoughts, Double-D pulled out his trusty towel from his back pocket and placed it carefully on the ground and sat on it, then, he waited for Ed to bring him the supplies. While he waited, Double-D thought about the objective Eddy assigned to him- to design and complete six different giant slot machines set to be rigged and to take all of the kids quarters. Each slot was to be designed in such a way that the teenagers would _only_ focus on the slots; _not_ to focus on what was going on inside the machine. To give those suckers a real run for their money! As Eddy phrased it__. Whether or not he chose to admit it, Double-D really had to applaud Eddy on his new underhand scheme. _

_"Hello-o!" a loud voice shouted.  
Snapping out of his thought, Double-D turned to look at the voice's owner.  
"Ed!" Double-D shouted aloud in joy and jumped up to embrace his friend, but stopped almost immediately when he saw what Ed was eating.  
"Um, Ed, what are doing with that doggy treat?" Double-D watched in disgust as Ed began to eat it.  
"Sorry Double-D! There was no sugar in my tea cup," was all Ed responded with.  
"Uh, well, yes," seemingly flabbergasted at his companion's lack of thought (though that _really_ should _not_ have surprise him...), Double-D began to walk around Ed and lifted his head upward, towards the pile of junk that Ed had amassed for this scam.  
"Ed, where in the world did you find all of this?" Double-D asked as he began to scavenge the needed items for his task.  
"Chickens, chickens, chickens." Pulling out a ladle full of gravy, Ed began to drink it along with his doggy treat. _

_Shaking his head once more, Double-D began to look for what he needed. After a few minutes of some fruitless searching, Double-D found and grabbed three large, white, round, cylinder pipes and began to saw each pipe into six equally large pieces and painted them with nine different pictures- three of Ed, three of himself, and, three of Eddy. After that was done, Double-D set them down to dry and began to pick out six boxes; each was roughly equal in size and height. Opening them up, Double-D began to make three open spaces on the front of each box for the slots and took six long, thin, silver rods stuck them in between the open spaces of all six boxes and had Ed bend the ends so that he could wire it a little later. Picking up six different rods, Double-D placed them on the right side of each machine so the players could pull on it and make the slots move. Grabbing the already dried slots, he placed them into their appropriate places and gave them a bit of a spin to see how smoothly they moved. After completing that task , Double-D salvaged some wires that looked usable and grabbed a needle nose pliers and hooked the wires onto the ends of the metal rods, after that, he added a big battery and a small device that was designed to make every turn that was played on the machine fair or unfair, depending on what it looked like the sucker- _customer _was about to do. When all the slots were completed, Double-D began to test each slot a few times and made the needed adjustments and tried again, each time it looked like he would win on a slot machine he would click the red button on the small remote control he had and it would always lose, and for every time it would like he would lose, he would click the green button and he would always win. With everything completed, Double-D sent Ed to fetch Eddy. _

_Sitting patiently on his towel, Double-D began to make a sign saying: "**Eddy's Gambling Slot Machines!**" When that was finished there was really nothing left for Double-D to do but wait for Ed and Eddy- he didn't have to wait too long. While sitting quietly waiting for Ed to come, Double-D began to hear a loud ruckus, turning his head to the left, he listened closely and realized that it sounded a lot like Eddy. But the cacophony of noise made it hard to discern if it was him. As the noise got closer, it got much worse, because, the words that assailed his ears left Double-D's face burning with shame. Eddy couldn't _possibly_ know _half _of those words! But alas, it was indeed his self-proclaimed leader. Double-D could just make out the silhouettes of Ed's hulking frame and Eddy's smallish stature riding atop Ed's head._

_"Hey! Mono-brow! Lemme go! Seriously, let me _fucking_ go right now!" Eddy shouted loudly, when Ed didn't respond Eddy smacked Ed's head soundly, making Ed forcibly drop him.  
"Eddy! Seriously! _Must_ you _lower_ your self-standard?" Double-D asked in a hushed tone, looking around, hoping nobody heard what Eddy said.  
Brushing himself off, Eddy countered with: "Stop acting like such a wet blanket! Gawd, you act like my mom. How gay can you get, huh Ed? Ed?"  
"Butter toast!" was all Ed said.  
Shaking his head at Ed's stupidity, Eddy focused his attention towards Double-D.  
"Do they work?" Eddy asked, pointing towards the slot machines._

_Still miffed about being called gay, Double-D just nodded his head and handed the remote to Eddy, explaining its function and uses and why it was smart to use it_ fairly; _so that the kids wouldn't think the game was rigged. Eddy seemed attentive, at least, Double-D hoped he was, if he wasn't than all that would happen would just be complete failure. Like always. Sighing he picked up his chef costume and dressed up as the 'casino's chef' and gave Ed his own tuxedo so he could dress as the casino's comedian with Eddy dressing as the host and attracting the teenagers of the cul-de-saq's attention. And sure enough, like a moth to a flame, they came with their money and __star shine in their eyes._

_For a while, it seemed to be going just fine, everyone simply loved the cake and pizza Double-D made and they kind of liked Ed's curious way with words. That was until everybody kept losing at the slots. Feeling a knot of fear develop in his stomach, Double-D realized that Eddy did _not_listen to his warning about making the slots lose repeatedly. Looking towards Eddy, he saw that madman's gleam in his eyes, and realized that he had no chance of convincing Eddy to stop. Looking back, towards the crowd, Double-D noticed the way that their eyes narrowed; everyone was starting to suspect that something was going on with their slot machines. Unfortunately, it was Kevin that made any real move towards finding out what was happening with his money. Lifting the slot machine, he threw it right at Eddy, knocking him out and forcing him to drop the remote control. Everyone stopped and stared at what was transpiring between the two. _

_Walking towards Eddy, Kevin stepped right on the control and looked down at it, bending down he picked it up and asked aloud: "What _is_ this?" and placed a quarter into the slot machine and pulled the rod._

_Taking a guess at the the remotes' function, he pressed the red button and activated the small device inside the slot machine and lost; along with everyone else. Enraged at being tricked, Kevin punched the slot machine open took out all of his money. Of course, upon seeing this, Sarah and Rolf followed his lead got out all of their money- including Nazz's, Jimmy's, and Jonny's. After retrieving their money, everyone turned towards the two conscious Ed's and the awakening Eddy. Forcing them into a corner, Ed, Double-D, and Eddy tensed, preparing themselves for a beating... _

* * *

Gasping for breath, I sit up suddenly as I awaken from my nightmare- at the same time Kevin's fist meets my face. Turning towards my clock I see that it's 11:57 p.m. and upon closer inspection I see my own face reflected against the clock's face- wild-eyed and scared. Leaning up against the headboard of the mattress, I look around my room and realize it was all just a bad dream. Thank goodness. I rub my neck, feeling horribly foolish for thinking that Kevin was in my room, getting ready to beat me up. I mean, _Kevin _caught in the Double-Dork's house? _Never_! I stop rubbing my neck and feel my face contort into grimace; my neck is covered in sweat!

Looking up towards the night sky, I see that its' dark veil is dotted by stars. At least there is one good thing about suburbia life; a clear night sky. I gasp suddenly when I catch sight of a shooting star. Turning towards the clock, I see that its 12:01 a.m.- a brand new day, a brand new start. Biting on my lip, I begin to think about all the trouble I've gone through today and all the other troubles I've been through too.

Looking up towards the heavens, I just let out a gusty sigh and decide to make a wish.

"Normally, I'm not so superstitious. But today, it was possibly the worst day of all my life. I mean, right after getting beaten up by all the kids of the cul-de-saq, Nazz said to everyone that her mother warned her not to hang out with us because we're absolute miscreants! Eddy is understandable! But me? I'm about as harmless as a the common household spider! I, I wish that...that I could have a chance to prove to everyone that I am _not_like Eddy. That I am my own person, and that Nazz wouldn't believe what her mother said to her! I just want things to change," sighing I just stare at the sky. "I just want one chance. Sincerely yours, Eddward Miriam Howard."

* * *

A.N.:  
(1) Edwin Skipper Narciso: If you notice carefully, Eddy's name is actually a pun; i.e. Narciso is actually a variation of the word 'narcissim'. And, the word 'win' in Eddy's name is a term he likes to use for himself; i.e. he likes being called a winner.

(2) Non sequiturs: Literally, it is Latin for "it does not follow". In literature, a non sequitur can denote an abrupt, illogical, unexpected or absurd turn of plot or dialogue not normally associated with or appropriate to that preceding it. It's actually pretty fun to make up some really weird one-liners for Ed! But, if you have any lines you'd like to share, please, feel free to e-mail me and I'll put it into the story for you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Double-D: Wish Upon an ED**

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Can't you see the moths flying out of my wallet?

Summary: For the last ten years of Double-D's life he has gone through some very difficult times. Late one night, the day before high school starts, he makes a wish on star for some big changes in his life. _Good_ changes. But little does he realize, that _true_ changes can only come from within.  
There will be NO slashing in this fiction! This as a rated Teen story for language and some violence.

A/N: This story will be cut in between Double-D's POV and the author's POV...  
When you see the line-separator thingy it's a cut between Double-D's POV and the author's. Unfortunately, this is **_NOT_** the original chapter. The former was _much_ better, but, it got deleted, along with the other **_TEN _**chapters I had completed! It happened through a series of misfortunate events (this sounds oddly familiar...). Sadly, I didn't think this would happen, so now, I have to rewrite _everything_ and hope that I can remember it all for you... Forgive me for my carelessness.

**--**

_"Have you noticed that doubts can ruin your day? They always pop up and choke out all the joy you have. They only come when you feel that something is wrong in your life, but, you don't want to admit it to yourself because of your fears."  
- My Father_

**--**

**Chapter 2: Teen ED**

September 4th, 2009 - 5:15 a.m.

**--**

I felt the soft sigh of the autumn breeze brush along my face as I begin to awaken. How careless of me; I left the window open! Thinking back on why I left it open I feel a sudden sense of shame. Sighing softly, I turn over and lie on my stomach, hoping to make that sudden knot of anxiety developing inside of me to disappear.

How could I doubt my own friendship?

* * *

_Thirty Minutes Later_

_Brr-ring! _

Blinking his eyes open suddenly, Edd awakened to the sound a loud, earsplitting shrill of his alarm clock. Rolling onto his back, Edd just layed still, looking up, towards the ceiling. Hoping that earth would just suddenly open up and swallow him whole, just so he didn't have to go to school and deal with his friends. Growling aloud, he slapped his alarm clock with such force that it hit the opposite wall and was broken. Blinking in surprise, Edd began to wonder if it was the end of the world. He _loved_ school. Just loved it! He was simply enamored with idea of being taught something new; he was devout believer of the inner sanctum of learning. _What in the name of Sam Hill is going on with me_, he contemplated, _First my friendship with Eddy is in doubt and now _this_! Enough! I'm going to school and I'm going to work hard on being a much better friend! _With his resolve renewed, Edd got up and went about his day, completing his daily ablutions with a sudden vigor that was missing over the last few days. In fact, it was so vigorous that, Edd, scrubbed him skin until it was raw and red in the shower, as if to get rid of every bad thought he had of his friend.

Hearing the soft click of the bathroom door being shut, Edd, stuck his head out of the shower, and discovered his clothes sitting atop a small space on the counter, near the sink. Smiling, Edd stepped out of the shower, drying himself off, and got dressed in his new black-on-black wardrobe (the color seemingly surprised Mother, but Edd thought it would be proper for him; it fit his mood, as of late), complete with his black and white hat. After dressing himself, Edd picked the bright yellow sticky note that he spotted earlier on the reflective surface of the mirror. Without even so much as glancing at it, Edd knew what the message would and will always say: _Dear Eddward, This a new year and a new start at school. Make this year count and try to make as many new friends as you can. Try to make your school year an enjoyable one? Love, Mother. _

It was always the same wish from Mother, and always an apology to be made by the end of the year. _Wish_, Edd thought, feeling a sudden rush of guilt._ Its different this time.__ I keep feeling like its going to be the end of the world_._ The only reason I made that wish because I had been subjected to a very serious, very violent physical injuries_. To reassure himself, Edd began to come up with reasons towards why he made that wish. But, no matter how hard he tried, Edd could never remove the underlying feeling that his reason was just a lie. Feeling a cool chill run down his spine, Edd turned away from the mirror; it seemed to be looking through him, as if to say: I can see what you hide. Turning away from the bathroom sink, Edd began to leave the bathroom but did a double-take when he looked into the full-body length mirror hanging on the bathroom door and paused, the sight of himself seemed so..._funny_ without his regular attire. Or build for that matter, as well. Towards the ending months of Peach Creek Junior High, and summer vacation, Edd grew in height; he was even taller than Ed! And upon closer inspection, Edd discovered some bulges of muscle forming in his forearms and biceps and in his thighs and legs. The greater the observation, the more he began to see father's build in his own body, even the lines of his face and his chin too! But the bridge of his upturn nose, pronounced cheekbones, eyes and lips were his mother's, no mistaking it. His blue eyes were so unnaturally vivid they were too beautiful for a boy.

_I suppose lugging around all that junk for Eddy all these years has made some slight changes in me_, Edd speculated to himself, in silent awe of his metamorphosis. _Why am I so surprised? After all, Eddy simply refuses to do his share of work. _Laughing, Edd realized that just as the changes happened in his body, so did Eddy's; at this rate, the change was obviously going to be beneficial towards Edd; Eddy was going to be a squat, fat man in his future. _How fitting. _Blinking in surprise, Edd just realized what a malicious thought that was and banished it away from his mind. Running out of the bathroom, Edd made sure to make it a point to never stay and look in any one of those mirrors for too long. They saw too much- knew too much! Grabbing his comb, Edd brushed out his black-brown perfectly straight hair, ever since he was four, Edd felt that people were staring at him, and, to help ease the growing paranoia, mother bought him his first, and, most certainly, not last, black and white hat. Deeming himself complete, Edd went down to the kitchen to fix himself a whole nutritious breakfast for a growing boy. Only to stop at the atrocious sight that stood before him.

The kitchen had been ransacked of all the food, and, all the afore mentioned contents littered the floor in a messy, gooey, and, it was an all a round smelly mess. "Merciful heavens! What happened here?!" Edd yelled. Looking around, the only clues he could find where the smells of a very bad cheap cologne and thick trail of instant gravy. "Ed! Eddy!" Edd's voice reverberated throughout the cul-de-saq. Possibly the universe.

_Beneath the Street at the Health Hazard A.K.A. Ed's Basement_

Digging through the piles of powerfully odorous junk Ed stopped. Feeling the strange sensation that he had done something very bad, like that time he ate his butter toast with a ladle full of gravy in Sarah's room; he could still feel the bruises. "I sense a disturbance in the force." Ed spoke aloud. Laughing his merry little laugh he went back to digging, Eddy had a scam!

_The Love Doctor's Pad A.K.A. Eddy's Room_

Planning out his scams, Eddy didn't seem to feel anything wrong. (As if he could...) Except, for when he felt his stomach cramp suddenly and violently. Running to the bathroom he hurried to alleviate himself, maybe he shouldn't have eaten those beans? Shrugging it off, he would make sure to tell Edd to buy some better food- after he told him scam of course!

_Edd's Kitchen_

Turning to look at the grandfather clock, he found that the time was only 6:07- exactly an hour and thirty-three before the bus would come. _Well, I guess its time to clean up, Mother and Father wouldn't like to see this at all,_ Edd thought sadly. _It's like, I'm always cleaning there mess! An i going to do this forever?_ Grabbing a mop, sponge, some strong cleaning products, and, a broom. He set to work quickly and effectively, hoping to catch the bus.

_7;27 a.m._

Running to the door, Edd grabbed his messenger bag and ran out of the house like a man with the devil on his heels- only to turn around and lock the door. "Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear!" Edd shouted as he ran for the bus, which was closing its doors and...leaving him behind! "Wait!" Edd shouted. "Wait! Please, wait!" Apparently, the driver hadn't heard, he was leaving without Edd aboard bus! Runing as fast as he could (which was pretty fast lately) he started to catch up with the already speeding up bus. Grabbing his boot, he threw it at the back of the bus, on the window, with enough force that it had cracked it. Causing the busman to stop and get out. "Uh-oh." Trembling where he stood, Edd was afraid of what might happen. Detention? Suspension? _Expulsion? _Oh dear lord, no! Anything but that! Sucking in a deep breath, Edd began to steel his nerves, grabbing his boot, he walked up to the bus driver. Who appeared to be a woman in her late-twenties'.  
"Did you break my window?" She asked in a rather calm voice, like she was discussing the weather.  
"Y-yes ma'am!" Edd admitted to her.  
"Why?"  
"W-well, in a last ditch effort to make it to school on time."  
"And whose fault is it that you're late?"  
"Mine, ma'am. But, I have a reason!"  
"Which is?" Staring at the boy, Nancy could tell he was really scared. What could've caused _that_?  
"Well, my friends like to come to my house and eat every bit if food I have and leave a huge mess behind." He said to her, gaining volume and momentum in his voice, until he was shouting. "They never clean! They always leave me a huge mess, and I would've never have been so late if they had just-"  
"Whoa! Easy there!" Nancy interrupted. "It's OK! Breathe sugah, you're turning redder than a tomatoe in early July!"  
Taking a moment to breathe, Edd noticed how light-headed he was. "I'm sorry Miss...?"  
"Nancy. Nancy Archwright."  
"Miss. Archwright, I just didn't want to be late for school."  
"I can see that!" She exclaimed as she looked to the window. "Listen kid, I'll let you on just this once, but, if you're late again, I'mma leaving you in the dust! Understood?"  
"Yes! Absolutely! Thank you!" He shouted as he began to walk towards the entrance, he stopped and walked right back to her. "Miss. Archwright, I'm sorry about your window. I'll pay for it with every cent I've got!"

Staring at the boy, Nancy figured that wouldn't be a bad idea, but, the school didn't really allow that. They were going to charge it out of her salary. Damn rules! "You don't have to go that far, but, you will be going to the principal about it. Now get on boy."  
Smiling at her, he introduced himself as he sat in his seat.  
"My name is Eddward. That's with two d's! But everyone calls me Double-D!"


End file.
